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8 Common Mindsets That Will Kill Your Dreams

September 7, 2009

Photo Courtesy of Mark Berry

“Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.”-Tryon Edwards

We do not perceive everything we see. Our eyes and sub-conscious record everything, but it can not all register. Our minds are only able to translate so much information, and the filter through which we process that information is our mind, and it has been proven that what we think in our minds effects very strongly what we will notice.

So the mind is an incredible force, and by determining what you see, your thoughts determine where you go in life. Here are 8 common mindsets that you should look out for.

Thinking you’re not enough. Maybe this thought was driven in to you by someone else who just didn’t believe in you. Maybe you feel that if you messed up once you can never succeed, but really, how do you know for sure that you aren’t enough? I mean, how do you really know? Have you really put everything you’ve got into really making your dreams come true?

“You’re never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true.”-Richard Bach

The thing is that in terms of life, in terms of dreams, in terms of this world you are enough, and don’t let anyone tell you other wise.

“I’ll get to it later.” I want you to take a moment and look at a calendar. Do you see either later, or someday on that calendar? What about your clock, is there a later anywhere on there? More importantly what about your life? How do you know that you will have a later? If its not worth doing, than just say no, but if there is something in your life that is worth doing that you keep putting off than it will not happen. Give it a calendar date.

An unearned sense of entitlement. This will make you look like a jerk very quickly. Its also very common right now. In my generation (millenial) that we are taught to believe that we deserve the world. Why? Yes you do have a special potential that no one else can fill. That’s nice. What have you done about it? Make sure that you offer to the minimum what you are asking for, and if you want to move forward try to deliver more than that.

Victim mindset. In this mode of thinking every one else and everything else in your life is to blame. You weren’t given the right circumstances to succeed, you were held back to much by your parents or a “friend”. While surroundings are very powerful, there is nobody with more power over where you will end up than you are. If every failure in your life, and every drawback is someone else’s fault how are you going to move forward? Admit that you are responsible for your life, and start doing something about it. You may have to tell someone no, in order to make time to do what you need to so you can succeed, but that is ultimately your decision. If you really do not have the power to say no to someone than you are a slave. If you are in this case I would recommend reading unwrapyourmind’s No-Fu The Warriors Way to Say No

But I have to…

“The number one way to avoid responsibilities is by saying, I’ve got responsibilities.”- Richard Bach

There will always be chores, there will always be work to do, and the circumstances will never be completely perfect. Before you resign to not go after your dreams, or do something that could make you successful I recommend you sit down and write a list of things that are important to you. Is what you are doing the most important thing you could be doing right now? If not, what is? How do you get to where you are doing that instead?

Money doesn’t matter so I can spend all this without a problem. This is something that I recently have been having troubles with. Yes money matters. It is an important resource. Managing your resources is part of making your dreams happen. How will you be able to spend what you need to for your dreams if you are paying all of your money to the bank, or the debt collector? Make managing your resources a priority, it will come in very handy down the road. Go a year using only cash. I had a month when I first moved on my own where I bounced five checks. The bank took way more from me than I had spent. At that point I took a pair of scissors and cut my debit card up. I than called the bank and canceled the card. The rule was that I had to have all of my debt paid off before I could start using a debit card again. It forced me to plan my finances better, and I was surprised how fast my debt went away.

The charging rhino mindset. This is like a rhino running at a tank that is aimed at it. This is the mindset that says you don’t need rest, or even that you must punish yourself for past mistakes. Rest when you need it, you will think sharper. The fact is that life is hard enough without you adding punishment on to yourself. So don’t do it. Eat enough, keep yourself well rested, and keep yourself healthy. Schedule time to relax, and than do it. If you don’t the pressure that your adding on to yourself will shoot you down.

Not being patient enough with yourself. Any dream worth going after is going to take time. You are not going to become a best-selling author overnight. You are not going to be the best artist the first time you pick up a pencil to draw. The important thing isn’t whether you start off with an advantage or not. The important thing is that you get started and you commit to follow through. Don’t worry about not being good at something. If you want to do it, than commit to it, and just start working at it. Don’t worry about being the best, just worry about being a little better each day.

A lot of times these mindsets are a thought habit. You will need to challenge each one, and don’t expect things to change instantly. You will need to go through and replace each counter-productive thought that can move you forward. One example of this would be if you think you can’t add the word yet to the end of it, so that you state that you will be able to do it. Do you have any of these thought patterns? What do you intend to do about them?

Entry Filed under: goals. .