5 Reason to Believe in People Again
September 21, 2009
Post by Justin Dixon Follow me on Twitter Photo courtesy of Hamed Saber
Turn on the news and the first thing you are likely to hear about is some scam, or brutal murder. We hear constantly about the dangers of identity theft, and people have been talking about moral decay since the 60’s. With all this in mind it is no wonder that communities don’t know each other anymore. Its not just a factor of size, its a factor of trust. The media tells us that people are scary, so we don’t bother with them. One major side effect of this, is that we have stopped believing in people. This creates a vicious cycle of tension between ourselves and our neighbors. We start assuming that everyone is out to get us, and because each of us begins to harbor this mindset and treat others with suspicion. Being treated with suspicion only confirms to the neighbor that you are hiding something, and the cycle continues. We have to stop this. Here are 5 reasons to start believing in people again.
1. People behave according to the way they are treated. An interesting experiment was done with a group of students where instead of telling the students what their actual scores were, all students were told a random score. Students that were told they would need extra help started doing poorly in school even though they were given the extra help. Students that were told they did very well and didn’t need teacher supervising anymore started doing much better in class even though they were getting less help. It did not matter what their grades were before the test.
So again. We end up creating a vicious cycle, if we do not learn to show some faith in people.
2. People want to be good. Can you think of one person who when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up responded with “the worse person I can be”? Nobody goes out of there way to do something bad. Nobody casts themselves as the bad guy. Do you? Why would you be the exception?
3. People want to be helpful. Private charities give 4 times as much money annually to good causes than every state program including peace corps put together. Habitat for Humanity put together WAY more houses than FEMA. We don’t have to force people to be helpful. People do this on their own. It gives their lives a sense of purpose. A quick way you can check this with yourself is when you see someone hurting do you not want to help? Everyone has that, even if we don’t always act on it. (mostly out of fear of one another)
4. We are all in this together. Every one has some burden to carry. There is not one person on this planet who doesn’t. On top of that every single one of is trying to figure out the one way to live that is going to have the best results for them.
5. You can inspire others. When you choose to believe the best in people you often end up pulling it out. When you pull the best out of others the best of yourself comes out as well.
So what can we do with all this? You can invite your neighbors over for dinner. You can start conversations with people. You can give others a chance. You can open up a little. While the media may only focus on the negative stuff, that would be because it is news when it happens. Reach out to others, ask for help, offer help, but whatever you do make sure to at least give people a chance.
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1.
Positively Present | September 21, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Really great post! It really DID make me want to believe in people. Thanks! :)
2.
alittlebetternet | September 22, 2009 at 10:30 am
Its something that I have commited to doing. Yeah you can get hurt, so don’t throw caution away, but the majority of the time, people really are just looking for the best way to live life. And most of us think that best way involves being trust-worthy and helpful.
3.
Belinda Munoz | September 22, 2009 at 12:56 am
#3 is so true. In the fundraising work that I do, I’ve learned this over and over again. People really do want to help, but we need to present the opportunity to them. How do we do this? Simple. Just ask.
Thanks for a great post, Justin.
4.
Steven Aitchison | September 22, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Hi Justin
I stopped reading and watching the news years ago and my life is so much better without it. We all know there are bad people out there but the majority of people are good people. However, good people don’t sell news so our vision of the world is skewed because we are being bombarded with the bad stuff.
great post and great reminder for people to have a little more hope for the world.
5.
Justin- AlittleBetter | September 22, 2009 at 1:49 pm
tv doesn’t report news anyways. They report propaganda
6.
jonathanfigaro | September 23, 2009 at 10:35 am
What a true statement. I cannot stand news…lol
7.
Justin- AlittleBetter | September 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Lets not make this a hate fest for anyone. I’m sorry I started moving it in that direction. Reporters have to feed their families too.
8.
Timothy Long | September 22, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I’m a bit wary of humanity on the larger, macro scale. But on the personal level, I think everyone deserves another chance. Or two. Or three.
I’m certainly aware of my own faultiness, and as a Christian who is about as far from perfect as it goes, I’m thankful for the people (and the Creator) who have looked past my inability to do everything right.
Oh, and #3 is resonating with me big time. “We don’t have to force people to be helpful. People do this on their own.” A political lesson to be learned here, perhaps?
:)
9.
Justin- AlittleBetter | September 23, 2009 at 11:48 am
Yeah I try to keep politics separate from this site, but I do have some very strong opinions, about it. I understand what you mean, but even macro groups of people can be brought together to do something good. The mistake we’ve made is most forms of marketing and getting ideas out there, are about making the masses stop using reason, and stop listening to their own judgement. It is easier to do this in mass, as people want to get along with others.
10.
Jill | September 22, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Great post—and so true! Espeically *We can inspire others*–its so easy to point your finger at others behavior. Its takes more effort to try to figure out how you can imporve the situation.
Take Care,
Jill
11.
Mary | Goodlife ZEN | September 23, 2009 at 8:10 am
I enjoyed this post!
Nearly all the people I meet are friendly and helpful. When I meet someone who isn’t, I tell myself that they are unhappy. And I treat them with friendliness. Often they then relax and even smile.
If we look for the best in each person and smile with a sincere heart, the world smiles back!
12.
TAmma | October 3, 2009 at 2:20 pm
we need more people like you in the world..
13.
Justin- AlittleBetter | October 3, 2009 at 5:35 pm
There are more people like me in the world. They just need to be shown what they can do, and every day all of us have an opportunity to show that.
“We must soar like eagles, not to look down on others, but to cause others to look up.”~Eleanor Roosevelt
“We must be the change that we want to see in this world.”~Mahatma Ghandi
14.
matt | September 23, 2009 at 10:57 am
Great Blog Justin
I like your message here. We have been conditioned to distrust and doubt the motives of others which us makes us defensive ourselves. If we follow your advice and expect the best out of each other instead then we will end up giving the best of ourselves as well – creating a virtuous cycle :)
thanks for the reminder
15.
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com | September 23, 2009 at 12:50 pm
If we lose faith or belief in other people, I think we lose belief in ourselves. Put simply, people need people.
Great post Justin!
Cheers,
Dayne
TheHappySelf.com
16.
Tavia | September 26, 2009 at 6:12 pm
It’s a really good post, but there are some exception. I’ve met children that when they were asked they said they want to become bank thieves and gangsters. So not everybody wants to be good, I know mature people that are happy being bad persons. About the other thing, that people always want to help, is kind of fake. I was in many situations when simply people didn’t want to help because they just didn’t care. Not everbody is good and helpful, indeed there are these person but hard to find, or maybe I’m not living in the right country:)
17.
Justin- AlittleBetter | September 27, 2009 at 9:43 am
Those who wish to be gangsters, those who look to be vicious are those who think that this is how the world must be. They do it not because they want to be evil, but because they want to survive. You are right that there is always a risk of being hurt, the risk of never trusting however is greater. Know how to defend yourself, use caution when leaving an opening, but don’t forget to believe in people. We have more to gain than to lose by this.
18.
Julie | September 27, 2009 at 2:55 am
ooh I my favorite is #5! And #3 is true too. I’ll definitely mention this in a posting tomorrow because I really do believe in this message because it’s so easy to lose our faith in people and lose trust maybe posting is a nice way to spread the message.
19.
kim | September 29, 2009 at 11:16 pm
This is a great post and I hope that many many people get a chance to read it. It makes you think. Thank you.
Every year my firm comes together at Christmas and does a really big donation through Salvation Army, we collect the money and go shopping. we do days of girt wrapping and sponsor many children that would not otherwise have a Christmas. It is all completely anonymous. Unfortunately because of my workload the past couple of years I have not been able to participate and Christmas has not been the same. I will be participating this year. I don’t believe it is fake on any level, it is our way of giving back to those who need it. I myself grew up in a foster home for children and we never wanted for Christmas it was amazing the gifts . This and other ways are my way of giving back.
20.
Justin- AlittleBetter | September 29, 2009 at 11:43 pm
First off, thank you for your comment! That is really great that your firm does that. Though you don’t have to wait for a holiday or special occasion to give. I f you have a passion for a cause than you can start today doing little things to bring people together and make something big happen. After all, with most people being worth believing in you can get a lot of help.
21.
bible man | September 30, 2009 at 4:48 pm
nice post, thanks, appreciated.
22.
Justin- AlittleBetter | October 1, 2009 at 8:26 am
Glad you enjoyed. :)