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This post was written by Justin Dixon Follow me on Twitter Photo courtesy of julianrod

This post was inspired by a great comment from Timothy Long. I want people to start trusting each other again. Even if its only little bits at a time I believe it will do more good than harm. What Timothy pointed out was that while individuals really are frequently trust worthy is that it can be a little harder to trust the masses. I don’t think the problem here is that people in mass can not be trust worthy. The problem is when people stop thinking for themselves.

As I stated in 5 Reasons to Believe in People Again People really are good willed, but we don’t always listen to ourselves and this creates many problems. First it creates problems on the individual level not listening to yourself can cause unhappiness, and can keep you from the potential you were meant to fulfill. On the societal level, it is used to make us to support political opinions that we don’t really agree with, buy products we don’t really need, and has even been used to bring about some of the darkest moments in history, such as the macarena dance craze.

So what can you do about this? You can learn to listen to yourself, and you can help others to do the same. Here are seven tips to get you started.

Write out your values. This forces you to really think out your values. Put them in to as concrete form as you can. Specify what each value means. This will put you in a better position to know when a situation goes against your values, and with practice this will become automatic.

Know why you believe what you believe. Because my parents believed it is not a good enough reason. This requires sitting through and questioning each point of value that you take for granted. What beliefs are assumptions? Would you want to be judged by the same standards? How do you know? Does it make you a better person? Find your own answers to these questions, and not only will it be easier to stand by your beliefs, but your beliefs will be more personal for you.

Choose your friends wisely. While we absolutely have much more to gain by believing in people, do pay attention to the habits of those you regularly surround yourself with. Do you like how this person talks about people? Do they have habits that you want? Most of the time you will pick up the habits of those you surround yourself with, whether you realize it or not. Make sure these are people that you want to be like.

Don’t be afraid to say no. I know that we all want to be as helpful as possible. It is one of the best reasons that we can afford to believe in people, it is however imperative to learn to say no.

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”-Henry David Thoreau

If you don’t learn how to tell someone no, than other people will run your life. You have to turn down some requests so that you have time to take care of what is important to you. You have to say no to what you believe is wrong so that you can say yes to what you believe is right.

Watch less tv. If you can afford to cut it out completely that would be best. Television makes its money through commercials.  Most modern commercials sell by undermining your reason, and teaching you to identify a very real unconscious need with the product advertised, whether the need is met or not. Every news show without exception has a spin on it that does not tell the full truth. TV is full of emotional manipulation, and wastes your time. You can still watch some shows, but be aware that too much tv will get in the way of listening to your own voice. For more on how tv got this way you can check out Century of the Self (this is a four hour series, watch little bits at a time).

Examine what you own/want. This is a great exercise on learning to find your own voice. Is everything you own something that you actually use? When? Do you want things that you won’t likely use? We are sold things constantly, learning what you actually want, and what you actually need, vs what you are told you want, and what you are told you need goes a long ways in helping you find your voice. For a good way to get started check out Have More Own Less.

Spend time alone. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Buddha, Jesus all of these men made it a regular habit of spending time alone in order to find their own voice. In fact in Howard Gardner’s book Leading Minds he lists spending time alone as a common factor among all great leaders. You can take this time to journal, you can take this time to reflect, you can go on a walk. The important thing is that you take this time, not reviewing someone else’s creations such as reading or watching tv, but in putting together your own ideas. Even if its just 30 minutes a week set aside on one day, it is a chance to think and decide for yourself what is most important, and what you should do.

People are still over all good, and masses can come together to do great things. We can be better though. The more of us that take the time to find our own voice the better we can make this world. Don’t look for your own voice because I told you to. Do it because it makes a revolution. Do it so you can find out what you are really made of. Do it to give others the permission to do the same. Find your own voice because you believe it is right to do.

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