6 Traits of Real Confidence
October 29, 2009
Post by Justin Dixon Follow me on Twitter Photo Courtesy of Tiago Ribeiro
Confidence is a major key to many aspects of our lives. It can be applied to happiness in the way it frees us from many internal struggles. It can help us in our work lives. A confident person is more likely to be hired than somebody who is not confident. It can help us in our dating lives; confidence is a very attractive feature.
And with so many great things linked to confidence its no wonder so many people try to give off the impression. There are tells though. Here’s how to tell real confidence apart from faked confidence.
Real confidence does not need the center of attention. When you really believe in yourself you know that you are relevant. You don’t need the attention of others to verify this.
Real confidence does not put others down. There is no need to make others feel inferior, nor to go out of your way to prove some sort of superiority. With nothing prove, and a positive self image, you are left with no reason to put anyone else down.
Real confidence is not fear based. Confidence is the opposite of fear. All fear boils down to us thinking that we are not enough to handle what could come next.
Real confidence lets their opponents speak. Somebody who is truly confident is not afraid of being wrong. They know it happens, and they know that it is better that they learn. They also know that they will get their turn to speak.
Real confidence can take criticism. Again, they know that it is better to learn the truth than to continue being wrong, and if the criticism is wrong a person with real confidence can make that decision for themselves.
Real confidence always tries again. Someone who is really confident knows that things aren’t always going to work out. What someone with real confidence doesn’t do is decide that just because it doesn’t work out the first time does not make them a failure. It means just keep trying.
Now it is going to happen where you will find others faking their confidence. Do not call them out of on this. Instead I recommend Thoreau’s approach.
“If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see.”
What are some other traits of real confidence you can think of? More importantly how are you going to carry yourself?
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1.
Belinda Munoz | October 30, 2009 at 1:07 am
Justin, great list! Can’t think of a single thing to add other than real confidence always knows there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
2.
Justin- AlittleBetter | October 30, 2009 at 7:32 am
Definitely.
3.
Ideas With A Kick | October 30, 2009 at 8:09 am
I think you’re talking about a type of confidence that does not come from being right, being competent or being better than others, but comes from your core and is independent of all of those. It’s a very powerful concept. The rest, for me, it’s actually just a flashier form of insecurity.
Eduard
4.
Tania | October 30, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Really cool blog :)
You seem a nice person!
5.
Justin- AlittleBetter | October 30, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Why thank you, and hopefully I’m writing things that are useful as well.
6.
Madeleine | October 30, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Justin, A very good list of what makes for true confidence.
“Real confidence does not put others down.” This is so important. Ultimately, tearing others down does not build a person up.
I wonder about confidence and fear though. A confident person may be afraid to do something but decide to try it anyway. Not in a foolhardy way but in a careful way. The result may be to make the person more confident, knowing that he won’t let fear hold him back from trying something he wants to try. What do you think?
7.
Justin- AlittleBetter | October 30, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Its a simple lesson, but there are a lot of conflicting ideas in this world. Its very easy to lose track of the simple lessons that we should all remember. I hope this post will help that a little.
8.
Walter | October 31, 2009 at 2:29 am
For me, real confidence comes in knowing yourself. If one is aware of his true self, he can make some adjustments to improve himself further. And in the process, confidence if build and strengthned.
9.
Oscar - freestyle mind | November 1, 2009 at 10:04 am
I think confidence it’s easier to gain if you think you have nothing to loose, but only an experience to gain. Nice post.
Oscar
10.
Anastasiya | November 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I wish some of the people in my close circle could read this post (I’ve had a few issues with them lately). I can add that real confidence is not afraid to speak up and does not use others to prove its point of view. And real confidence does not get offended without reason and without first finding out all the facts :-)
11.
Jeffrey Tang | November 3, 2009 at 2:28 pm
False confidence and bravado spends a lot of time to trying to impress you. Real confidence will show itself without trying, I think.
I think that real confidence does, to some extent, have to come from outside ourselves. What we do and the responses we get always impact our confidence. There is definitely an inner source of confidence, but like all other things, confidence has a cause.
12.
lalalives | December 20, 2009 at 1:24 am
Great list!
I would add that real confidence doesn’t compare itself to others. In real confidence, there is no such thing as “measuring up”.
I really enjoyed this post. Thanks!
~LaLa